Not the time for a dad joke.
the time is nigh
when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
dog trying to save fishes
"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.
i hate cute couples unless they’re 50% me
australia’s got a lot of fucked up shit going on but at least we can say our last mass shooting was 18 years ago
because after it happened we placed higher restrictions on gun ownership
because that’s the logical fucking thing to do
*moaning* what’s ur credit card number
pen pals with benefits
today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”
one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
“I feel tumblr people will be the best parents. Ever.”